Bride of the Sea Monster (Welcome to Hell Book 9)

  Bride of the Sea Monster

  Welcome to Hell #9 ~ Hell Cruise Adventure

  Eve Langlais

  Contents

  Introduction

  1. Killian Kraken: Fate is a cruel mistress.

  2. Sasha: I should have seen it coming.

  3. Killian Kraken: Just keep the drinks coming.

  4. Sasha: I am never drinking again.

  5. Killian Kraken: I wish they wouldn’t scream. It makes me hungry.

  6. Sasha: He’ll be gone in a few days.

  7. Killian Kraken: That could have gone better.

  8. Sasha: I wish I could help him.

  9. Killian Kraken: Just leave me alone.

  10. Sasha: How am I supposed to eat when all I want to do is…

  11. Killian Kraken: I’m so confused.

  12. Sasha: Holy shit, he is a monster.

  13. Killian Kraken: Fate’s a bitch.

  14. Sasha: I’m being kidnapped.

  15. Killian Kraken: I’m beginning to understand why Great-Great-Granddad ate so many people.

  16. Sasha: Any last smartass words?

  17. Killian Kraken: She loves me.

  Epilogue

  Afterword

  Copyright © 2019/2020, Eve Langlais

  Cover Art © Dreams2Media 2020

  Produced in Canada

  www.EveLanglais.com

  EBook ISBN: 978 177 384 155 7

  Print ISBN: 978 177 384 156 4

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

  This book is a work of fiction and the characters, events and dialogue found within the story are of the author's imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, either living or deceased, is completely coincidental.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or shared in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including but not limited to digital copying, file sharing, audio recording, email and printing without permission in writing from the author.

  Introduction

  Watch out for those umbrella drinks. Not even one day at sea, and I find myself the bride of a sea monster.

  In order to break a curse, I am supposed to marry a sea monster. Considering I only barely tolerate seafood, that isn’t going to work for me.

  Nor will I be guilted into doing it. Why should I wreck my life for a stranger?

  Instead, I leave on a cruise and get bitch-slapped by fate. The first night aboard, not only do I get wasted, I accidentally wind up married to the multi-armed beast I’d sworn to avoid.

  Turns out he’s not half bad, though, which is why I am trying to find a way to break the curse before he turns into a monster forever.

  Check out the entire Hell collection at EveLanglais.com or click the button below.

  1

  Killian Kraken: Fate is a cruel mistress.

  The ominous date crept closer and closer. The pendulum of time was a scythe ready to take my life. I couldn’t escape the malediction on my family. My father hadn’t. Nor his father before him. The curse ran deep and true. Upon my thirty-second birthday, I’d become a monster for life.

  Now it should be noted that I’d always been part monster. From birth, the moment anyone dumped my naked ass in a tub, out came the tentacles. Uncle Shax said grabbing hold of my soapy toddler butt proved more complicated than snaring a greased imp. I never did find out why Uncle wanted the imp in the first place.

  But back to my tentacled self. Being a sea beast had its benefits, and I greatly enjoyed them during my more than two decades of pure selfish fun. As I began creeping towards thirty and the ominous number, my imminent demise began to stare me in the face.

  See, I’d known about the curse from a young age. Kind of hard to avoid when the whole reason your daddy wasn’t around was because he was currently haunting the River Styx.

  He popped by every so often to wave a tentacle. I did my best not to roll my eyes when he gave me a slimy hug. Better than crushing me to death like my grandfather had tried to do to him.

  I lived with my uncle, who was related on my mom’s side, so, not cursed like me. He raised me after the shit went down. Reared me well, but the one thing he couldn’t do was save me from my fate.

  Faced with the prospect of never being a man again, I cherished each moment I had. Like the most ravenous of greed demons, I scarfed down all the junk food I could get my tentacles on. Played video games for days straight. Hung out at bars and made random conversation with strangers because I’d ditched most of my friends. What was the point of having them? Once I became a monster, we couldn’t hang out, and I might pose a danger.

  During that debauchery period, I slept with strangers, though never more than once.

  And I might have continued gorging on life experiences if my uncle Shax hadn’t slapped me. Literally.

  Being drunk at the time, I didn’t feel it much, but I remembered sneering at him. Did my best to push him away because of everyone I knew, he would be most hurt when I became a beast.

  “Why are you giving up?” my uncle had yelled.

  “Not giving up. Just enjoying life.”

  “No, you’re not,” he said flatly. “You’re hiding from it instead of fighting it.”

  “Fighting it how?” If my forbearers hadn’t found a solution, what made me think I could?

  “Find out what breaks the curse.”

  I blinked blearily, alcohol fuzzing my brain. “How? The people who started it are long gone.”

  “Which is why I put in a request with the Department of Curses and Vendettas to see an official copy outlining the parameters.”

  “You can do that?” The very idea seemed shocking yet brilliant.

  “I can and have. Did it the moment I realized your mother was marrying your father. The information didn’t arrive in time for him, but I’ve been greasing some paws in the hopes of getting it soon.”

  “How will having the details of the curse help us?” I asked.

  “Because it has to have an escape clause. All maledictions do.”

  The very idea that I could save myself… It roused me from the wastefulness I’d made of my time. I had a purpose.

  Only it didn’t prove as easy as hoped. Eventually, the bribery paid off, and we got some answers. Not very good ones, though, and we were running out of time. Uncle Shax worried about me. With good reason.

  As my time grew short, my control over the beast lessened. Currently, I could only go a few days without having to submerge myself in the ocean. Soon, the need would be daily, then hourly until I could no longer leave the salty oceans again.

  Just like my ancestors, with one major difference: I’d chosen not to pass it on to a child of my loins before it hit. The curse ended with me.

  Within the week as a matter of fact.

  I trailed my hand through the saltwater pond in the yard, the liquid soothing and teasing my flesh. The body of water was filled with exotic fish, brightly colored and vicious. Feeding them regularly was a must or they’d cannibalize each other. Then, when nothing was left, they’d devour themselves.

  Snack. Wanna taste. The beast inside me grew eager.

  Not right now. I kept holding off for as long as I could. But my hold on myself lessened by the hour.

  And it didn’t improve when we finally got the steps to curing my curse.

  “Rumor has it you got something official in the mail today.” The intrusion came from my uncle Shax, who was not only my mother’s brother but also related by marriage to the mighty Charon, ferryman of the Styx. He chose to appear as a man of experience, his features somewhat craggy, his hair dark, hinting of silver at the temples, his horn
s kept intentionally short. Unlike other demons his age, he didn’t bother with great big useless horns to impress folks and kept his magic under subtle wraps. As a scholar, he was above the vanities of those looking to impress. Despite all his time indoors reading, he kept his body thick and powerful. His attitude positive. Although, of late, his usual smile had become a grave expression.

  I shook my head. “If you’re talking about our petition for an extension on the curse, then it was refused.” I’d made a plea for help to give me more time to fight this.

  “If only that woman would reply to my letter,” my uncle mused aloud.

  I shook my head. “It’s too late even if she does.” The she being a woman who provided my only means of salvation. I’d only learned about her recently when I got the extended version of my curse. Because it turned out there was a cure, but the devil was in the details.

  In order to break the curse, I needed a woman from the Farseer family—one directly descended from the witch who’d cursed my line—to marry me. And not just marry, but love. In a nasty twist, the bloodline that’d placed the curse was the only one that could break it.

  Problem was finding a true Farseer. It turned out they weren’t exactly common.

  Once Uncle and I discovered there was a way out, we went on a rampage, searching for the Farseer family. They didn’t breed like demons. The family line proved sparse, which was surprising given they supposedly saw the future.

  But after much digging and bribing, we found a few names. The first hit revealed an old man who had slammed the door in my face.

  The second Farseer possibility never even opened theirs.

  The third and last of the family, Bianca Farseer, had a postal box that apparently wasn’t checked often. Had this stranger read about my plight and callously dismissed it? No amount of bribery could get the mailbox manager to reveal where she lived, and I was almost out of time.

  Even as I raged, could I blame them? Forced to marry a stranger, and then to add insult to injury, they had to love me?

  “You can’t give up. We need to get someone in that family to talk. We have to find out where she is.”

  “There’s no point.” I rolled my shoulders. “Let’s say I do find her. What are the chances we’ll wham, bam fall in love?”

  “It happens all the time.”

  “In movies!” I scoffed. “Let’s say we meet and hit it off. What sane woman marries a guy she just met?”

  “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if it would save you.”

  “She obviously does mind, or she’d have answered our letter.”

  “I should have included a picture. You’re a decent-looking boy. It might have helped.” My uncle squinted at me.

  “Wow, don’t shower me with praise all at once.”

  Uncle Shax grinned. “You already have a giant head. No need to make it bigger.”

  “Ha. Ha. So funny. Maybe you should have put that joke in the letter.”

  “Maybe I should have,” he huffed. “You’re awfully grumpy today.”

  “I’d say I have reason,” was my wry reply.

  “There’s still time.”

  “No, there’s not. Less than a week until my birthday. Even if I found this Farseer today, we’d never meet the conditions.” Something as big and powerful as love just couldn’t happen that quickly.

  “What if you are fated to be together? Think about it. According to our research, she’s the first woman born to the Farseer family in generations. This is your chance. You have to seek her out. Explain the situation. Put on your nice face.”

  “I don’t have a nice face.” I scowled.

  “Which is why I didn’t include a picture.” Uncle nodded, and I sighed.

  “I appreciate everything you’ve done. But it’s time to admit defeat.”

  “Never!” snapped my uncle. “You can’t give up.”

  That brought a snort. “You’re one to talk. One word for you: Dorothy.” I referred, of course, to the fact that my uncle had lost his chance to settle down because he’d put work ahead of happiness. Before you think my uncle a sappy bastard, lamenting about the past, I should note that I only knew about Dorothy because he’d gotten rip-roaring drunk once while staring at a picture of a woman. His one true love. And he’d neglected her, so she’d run off with another fellow.

  Shax’s expression turned somber. “I can talk because I know what a mistake it is to allow complacency to take root.”

  “This isn’t a matter of complacency. It’s a curse.”

  “You’re being a coward.”

  At that, I exploded. “Even if I find her, what am I supposed to say? ‘Hello, because of a curse your fucking family placed on mine, if you don’t marry and love me soon, I’m going to be a sea monster forever.’”

  “Not horrible, but you might want to focus on your positive points.”

  “Which are what exactly?”

  “Already said, you’re not wretched-looking.”

  I snorted.

  “Well-off financially.”

  “I’m also the scourge of the sea.”

  “Only if the marriage fails.”

  At the reminder, I sighed. “It will because we’re being forced into it.”

  “There are spells we can use to fix that.”

  “A love spell?” I shook my head. “No. I won’t have it.” Not to mention, I recalled seeing a clause in the curse forbidding that kind of thing.

  “You’d rather become a beast for the rest of your life?”

  “Better than forcing someone into a lie.” I did have some morals left.

  “Would it kill you to ask?” my uncle snapped.

  “I won’t beg.” My pride wouldn’t allow it. “And ask who? We still don’t have an actual address.”

  “I don’t understand why you won’t act,” Shax raged. “Why are you just allowing this to happen?”

  “I am acting. I am ending the curse.” Let it die with me, the last of my line.

  “I am going to throttle you,” my uncle yelled.

  I glanced away from his red-faced anger—and fear—as I dragged my fingers through the water, ignoring the sharp nibbles of the fish. Harder to ignore was the sudden shift in the air, and the booming voice.

  “Did I hear there’s going to be some throttling? When does it start? I want to ensure I get a good seat.” Lucifer rubbed his hands together.

  “Not now,” growled Shax. “This is family business.”

  “Am I not family?” Said in an aggrieved tone by the Lord of the Pit.

  “Now you’ve done it,” I muttered to my uncle. Flicking the water from my hand, I stood and faced the dark lord of Hell. “My Liege. You grace me with your presence.” I sketched a short bow because only an idiot didn’t show respect to the devil.

  “Not feeling too graced.” Lucifer glared at Shax, who glared right back. Smoke curled from the dark lord’s nose while power crackled around my uncle.

  “Do you mind?” I muttered. “I’m trying to mope over here.”

  With a last snarl from each, they relaxed, Lucifer brushing ash from his suit. “Hello, boy, it’s been a while.”

  A while being since my childhood. The devil had popped in, said to come and see him for a job when I went beast mode at thirty-two, and then got tossed out by my uncle. The demon-handling of the dark overlord resulted in Shax’s house in the second ring of Hell being picked up and moved to the fifth circle. As if he cared about the loss in status.

  “Why are you here?” I asked.

  “Why do you think?” The devil smiled. “It won’t be long now before all you can do is terrorize the seas. So, I’m here to repeat the job offer I mentioned a few years ago.”

  “What exactly is the job?” I asked, raising a hand to stall my uncle when he opened his mouth to protest.

  “Nothing you can’t handle. Once you turn all tentacle-y and rampage-y, maybe you can do me a favor and sink a few ships. I’ve got a score to settle with some uppity sorts on Earth.”

&nb
sp; “On Earth?” I repeated. “Kind of hard to sink anything when I’ll be stuck down here.” I waved to the darkness of the Styx as it rolled by. The river separated Hell from the land of the living and was filled with unspeakable creatures who constantly hungered. Soon, it would include another kraken. I wondered if my dad would let me move near him. Maybe point out a cave I could call my own.

  “Which is the other reason I’m here.” Lucifer tucked his hands behind his back, and I noted his outfit—Darth Vader meets the Green Lantern. An interesting choice. “It occurred to me that we already have a few too many sea monsters down here. Charon’s been yammering on about culling the number because they keep knocking over the boats and eating my souls. Which isn’t all that bad because it means less paperwork for me. Sinning is a booming business, boy.”

  “Yadda. Yadda. Get to the point.” My uncle flicked his hands in impatience. “Spit out what you’re trying to say.”

  “What I’m saying is, we haven’t had a proper sea monster on the Earthen plane since we lost Lorax.” The sea serpent who’d sunk more ships than even my great-grandfather had in his day. “I want you to take over as scourge of the seven seas.” Lucifer beamed.

  It had a nice ring to it.

  The devil sweetened the deal. “All-you-can-eat buffet. Unlimited room. Sunshine, if you like that kind of thing. Mermaids to serve, and sea wrecks to plunder.”

  Better and better.

  My uncle scowled. “Don’t fall for it. He’s not mentioning the catch. The humans in this age have harpoons. And pollution. Not to mention submarines with missiles and other things to kill a kraken.”

  “There are some risks,” Lucifer agreed.

  “Then why would I agree to it?” I asked.